I Am Friends With The Monster

So, I've got this friend, right? Now, before you start picturing me hanging out with some guy named Chad who loves to talk about his collection of vintage action figures, let me stop you right there. My friend is a monster. A real-life, honest-to-goodness, green-slimed, fang-toothed monster.

I know, I know, you're thinking, "How did you even meet a monster?" Well, it's not like we were set up on a blind date or I found him on some monster dating app. No, no, it was much more mundane than that. I moved into an old, creepy house, and he came with the package. Literally. He was in the attic, sleeping off some sort of monster hangover.

Monster Manners

Now, I'm not saying we were besties from the get-go. When I first saw him, all I could do was stare, my jaw on the floor. He was huge, with scales that shimmered like an oil slick, and eyes that glowed like lanterns. But then he sneezed, and a little puff of smoke came out of his nose. It was kind of cute, in a terrifying sort of way.

Anyway, we started talking, and it turns out, he's not so different from you or me. He loves a good laugh, hates Mondays, and has a weird obsession with human reality TV shows. Turns out, monsters have their own version of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," but it's more like "Keeping Up with the Cryptids." Boring, right?

Monster Myths Debunked

Living with a monster has really opened my eyes to some misconceptions. For instance, they don't actually eat people. I mean, sure, he's got these massive teeth, but they're more for show than anything else. He's more of a vegetarian, preferring a diet of old books, rusty nails, and the occasional human-sized pizza.

And another thing, monsters aren't out to get us. They're just trying to live their lives, like anyone else. They've got families, jobs (well, sort of), and hobbies. My monster friend loves to paint. His canvases of choice? The walls of the attic. It's a bit of a mess, but the colors are amazing.

Monster Mash

We've had some great times together. We've watched countless movies (he loves the classics, like "Jaws" and "Godzilla"), played board games (he cheats, but it's okay, he's a monster), and even gone on a few adventures. I took him to the city once. He loved the skyscrapers, thought they were like giant monster toothpicks.

Friends With The Monster Under My Bed Song at Rose Braddon blog

But it's not all fun and games. Living with a monster has its challenges. Like the fact that he snores. Oh boy, does he snore. It's like living with a human-sized, scaly, snoring vacuum cleaner. And don't even get me started on his taste in music. Monster metal is... something else.

Monster Lessons

But despite the challenges, I've learned a lot from my monster friend. He's taught me to look beyond appearances, to not judge a book by its cover, or a monster by its fangs. He's shown me that everyone, or rather, everything, has a story to tell, a life to live, and a heart to share.

So, here's to my monster friend, the best roommate a girl could ask for. He might not be your typical friend, but he's mine. And I wouldn't trade him for all the gold in Fort Knox. Or all the pizza in the world. Which, let's be real, is a lot.

So, the next time you hear a strange noise in the night, don't be afraid. It might just be a monster, trying to find the remote. And hey, if you ever meet one, give them a chance. You might just make a new friend. Just remember to keep the garlic and holy water on hand. You know, just in case.