King Charles 2nd Of Spain

So, you're curious about King Charles II of Spain, huh? Let's grab a coffee and chat about this guy. I mean, he's not our Charles, right? No, no, this one's all theirs - the Spanish.

Meet the Last Habsburg

First things first, Charles was born in 1661, which makes him a bit of a history buff's dream. He's the last Habsburg king of Spain, and boy, did he have some big shoes to fill. His dad, Philip IV, was quite the king, and his grandpa, Philip III, well, he was the one who started all this Habsburg fun in Spain.

Now, you might be thinking, "Habsburg? Isn't that like, the royal family that loved inbreeding?" Well, yes, yes it is. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, we'll get to that later. For now, let's just say Charles was born into a family that was, shall we say, very into each other.

Charles, the Not-So-Great

So, Charles grows up, becomes king in 1665, and everyone's like, "Yay, a new king!" But here's the thing, Charles wasn't exactly the brightest bulb in the chandelier. He was, how shall we put this, challenged in the brains department. Some even say he was a bit of a simpleton. Ouch, right?

But hey, who needs brains when you've got power, right? Wrong. Charles's lack of, well, everything, really, led Spain into a bit of a mess. He was so unfit to rule that his mom, Queen Mariana, had to act as regent until he was 14. And even then, she still had to keep an eye on him. I mean, the guy couldn't even sign his name properly!

Charles II Of Spain Was "So Ugly" That He Frightened His Own Wife

Marrying His Cousin (Because Of Course He Did)

Now, let's talk about Charles's love life. Or lack thereof. You see, Charles was a bit of a late bloomer in the romance department. He was 27 before he finally tied the knot. And who did he marry? None other than his first cousin, Maria Luisa of Orleans. I know, I know, it's like a bad soap opera, right?

But here's the kicker, folks. Maria Luisa was only 12 when they got married. Yes, you read that right. Twelve. I mean, who needs a honeymoon when you've got a lifetime together, am I right?

King Charles Of Spain Autopsy

The End of an Era

So, Charles and Maria Luisa had a few kids, and life went on. But Spain was in a bit of a pickle. The War of the Spanish Succession was brewing, and everyone was like, "Who's gonna take the throne after Charles kicks the bucket?" Charles, being the helpful king he was, didn't have an heir. None. Zip. Zilch.

And that, my friends, is how the Habsburgs' reign in Spain came to an end. Charles died in 1700, and the whole of Europe was like, "Well, this is awkward." But that's a story for another coffee chat.