How Much Does Noddy Holder Make Every Christmas

Alright, gather 'round, folks. I've got a tale to tell you about Noddy Holder, the man who's been making our Christmases merry and bright for decades. You know him, you love him, and you've probably wondered, "How much does Noddy Holder make every Christmas?" Well, buckle up, because we're about to dive into a world of Slade, Santa, and some seriously festive finances.

Once Upon a Time in Birmingham...

Let's rewind to the 1970s, when Noddy Holder and his band of merry men, Slade, were topping the charts like a well-decorated Christmas tree. They had hits like "Cum On Feel the Noize" and "Mama Weer All Crazee Now," but it was their 1973 festive banger, "Merry Xmas Everybody," that truly cemented their place in the annals of Christmas history.

Now, you might think that once a song becomes a Christmas staple, the royalties roll in like presents on Christmas morning. But hold onto your Santa hats, because it's not quite that simple.

Royalties: The Elusive Reindeer

You see, Noddy and the boys didn't just write "Merry Xmas Everybody," they also recorded it. So, whenever it's played on the radio, in shops, or on your gran's old cassette player, they earn royalties. But here's the thing: those royalties aren't just handed out like mince pies on Christmas Eve. They're collected by the Performing Right Society (PRS) and the Mechanical-Copyright Protection Society (MCPS), and then distributed to the songwriters and performers.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "How much is a 'Merry Christmas' worth these days?" Well, it's not as straightforward as saying, "Noddy gets a penny every time you sing 'Look at the lights, they're gonna light up the street,'" because the royalties depend on a whole host of factors, like how often the song is played, where it's played, and who's playing it.

From Pubs to Pantomimes

Let's start with the pubs. According to the PRS, a pub playing music can expect to pay around £300 a year in royalties. Now, imagine every pub in the country playing "Merry Xmas Everybody" every Christmas. That's a lot of royalties! But remember, Noddy and the boys have to share that pot with every other songwriter and performer whose music is played.

Then there are the pantomimes. Oh, yes, there are! Panto royalties are a bit different because they're based on the number of performances. So, if Aladdin is singing "Merry Xmas Everybody" eight times a week, for eight weeks, that's a fair few royalties right there.

Christmas Number Ones: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

But here's where it gets really interesting. You see, "Merry Xmas Everybody" isn't just a Christmas song; it's a Christmas number one. And that means it earns more royalties than your average festive tune. In fact, according to the MCPS, a Christmas number one can earn around £500,000 in royalties every year. Now, that's what I call a festive bonus!

Staggering amount Noddy Holder earns in royalties for Slade’s Merry

But wait, there's more! Because "Merry Xmas Everybody" has been a Christmas number one not once, not twice, but seven times (yes, you read that right!), those royalties keep on rolling in, year after year. And that, my friends, is what we call a very merry, very lucrative Christmas.

The Noddy Holder Christmas Calculator

So, how much does Noddy Holder make every Christmas? Well, it's hard to say exactly, because those royalties can vary so much. But if we take that £500,000 figure and divide it by the seven times "Merry Xmas Everybody" has been Christmas number one, we get... drumroll please... £71,428.57. Not a bad Christmas present, eh?

But remember, that's just an estimate. Noddy and the boys also make money from streaming, from sales of the original record, and from performing the song live. And let's not forget the merchandising opportunities: Noddy Holder-branded Christmas puddings, anyone?

Merry Christmas, Noddy!

So there you have it, folks. The story of Noddy Holder and his very merry, very lucrative Christmas. And the next time you're singing along to "Merry Xmas Everybody" (and let's face it, who among us can resist?), remember to raise a glass to Noddy and the boys. After all, they've earned it.

Now, who's ready for another round? I've got a feeling this Christmas is going to be a very good one indeed.